Finding a babysitter for the occasional night out or day away can be challenging – especially for first-time parents.  However, it is well worth the effort, because it is very important to have quality time away from your baby or kids.

In fact, a relaxing night out with your significant other, a golf game with your college buddies or a day of shopping and lunch with friends will help improve your attitude and outlook.  In the long run, you will be a better parent because you took a break and did something meaningful for yourself.

So, what’s stopping parents from hiring a sitter for some down-time?  It’s often guilt that they feel about leaving their children or guilt about spending the money on a paid sitter.  Instead, parents will often use family or friends to sit for their little ones.  This works great -- as long as the other parties are willing and able. 

How do you find a sitter that you like and can trust?  Here are some tips that may make the process easier.

Determine Your Current Needs and Goals.  If you have a newborn, then you will want to make certain that you are hiring a mature, experienced person.  You can go with a younger teen if your own children are a little older.  But make sure that you are not overwhelming the sitter.  If you have more than three kids, you might need to hire team sitters to make sure that you have enough coverage. 

Plan Ahead.  If you know that you must attend an important business dinner with your spouse, then give yourself plenty of time to book the right person.  It’s always a good idea to place a reminder phone call to the sitter when your time away is very important.

Ask Friends, Family, Coworkers.  The best way to find a great sitter is to ask others with kids.  However, be prepared that some people will be unwilling to give you the name of their sitter for fear that you will monopolize their time!

Mom’s and Dad’s Groups or Preschools.  Mommy and Daddy activity classes are a great way to network with others to find a sitter.  Sometimes the teacher will even moonlight when not teaching.  Even better is a preschool teacher, who has been trained to work with young kids and usually comes with ideas for games and activities.

Search the Neighborhood.  If you are hiring a younger sitter, one of the biggest hassles is driving to pick up the sitter and then taking him or her home.  Finding a sitter in your own neighborhood will solve this issue, and it makes for a very convenient situation should you have a last-minute need for someone to watch your kids.

Ask the Sitter for Recommendations.  If you have a sitter you like, but he or she is booked, then don’t be shy about asking for a recommendation.  This is a great way to expand your sitter network.

Babysitting Services.  If you are really desperate and you live in a large city, there might be a babysitter service you could use.  Make sure that the service is bonded and find out about their screening beforehand.  Also ask about fees and if you should pay the sitter directly or is the fee paid through the service.  Inquire about meeting the sitter ahead of time, even though you may have to pay a fee.

The Internet.  Some people use the internet to find a local sitter, but  it is always preferable to use a sitter that is recommended to you.  If you do choose the internet, make sure that you use caution and do your homework.  The bottom line is that you do not know anything about the person that you are bringing into your home.  Will you feel totally comfortable with this person?  There are some national online services that you can check out, such as www.sittercity.com, but we suggest asking lots of questions and make sure that you select the person very carefully.

Other Ideas.  Still looking for a great sitter?  Try your church, synagogue or place of worship as they may have a youth group with kids of babysitting age. Another idea is your neighborhood community center, which may have a bulletin board or newsletter where you could post a small ad for a sitter.  You could also contact a local college that offers a credentialed teaching program to see if they have students who will baby sit.

So now you have a few sitters in mind.  What happens next?

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask.  This person will be taking care of your children – nothing is more important  -- so it is ok to ask questions and check references.  Does the sitter have children of his or her own  (or younger siblings)?  Has he or she sat for other children? Has the sitter passed a basic babysitting class, such as one taught by the American Red Cross?

Age Matters.  Is your babysitter mature enough to handle your child or children?  If you hesitate answering this, then the answer is no.  It is better to hire an older sitter (pay a little more) and feel secure that you are doing the best for your kids.  You will be sure to enjoy your time away rather than worrying the whole time.

Meet Ahead of Time.  Some parents want to meet a sitter prior to leaving the person alone with their kids.  This is perfectly acceptable, so schedule a “meet and greet” time when the sitter could come to your home.  However, since the sitter is taking time to come to your home, then you really have to pay for at least an hour of their time.

Which Leads Us to Money.  What to pay a sitter can vary greatly from area to area and small town to large city.  Ask what other parents are paying and then be sure to establish an hourly fee prior to booking the sitter.  If it is a full day, ask for a “day rate.”  If you are paying hourly, then be sure to round up to the closest half hour when figuring what you owe.  Be sure to have some smaller bills on hand so you can pay the sitter at the time of service – don’t expect them to make change!

Ok, you’ve found a great sitter.  Now what?

Arrive Early.  The first time a person sits, he or she should arrive early, about 30 minutes before you need to depart.  This is very important because you will want the person to have a few minutes to get to know your kids.  You will also need time to give a tour of the house, go over any contact or emergency information and talk about your “house rules.”

House Rules?  Whether you realize it or not, every home has a set of unwritten rules that provide a basic framework for how the household operates.  Be pleasant, but don’t hesitate to lay the ground rules.  If you don’t want anyone wearing shoes on your new carpet, then that is a house rule.  If the dog is allowed on the furniture, then the sitter needs to know that it is acceptable.  If your kids can watch a specific television show or movie after they have finished homework and their chores, then you should convey that information.  Meals and bedtime also fall under house rules.  Go through the basic routine so the sitter is aware of what you expect. 

Discipline.  Another house rule is discipline.  Make sure that your sitter knows how to get your kids to mind, and if discipline is a problem then point that out.  Give the sitter some tips.  And, make sure that the sitter knows that you never hit or physically force your children.

Write it Down.  If you find that it takes you a long time to go through your house rules, you may want to simply type up a quick list on your computer.  Make it short, to-the-point and cordial.  You don’t want the sitter to be overwhelmed.

Appropriate Activities.  What do you want your children and sitter doing while you are away?  Suggest some activities, such as playing in the backyard, going for a walk, board games, dress up, general play with toys, reading books, movies, drawing, etc.  If you have some games or activities packed away, this might be a good time to pull them out.

Essentials.  Make sure that you provide the sitter with a house key.  Another essential item is a first aid kit.  Every home should have one and it should be in an easily accessible place. 

Cell Phone and a Back-Up.  Make sure that you provide a cell phone number and a land line telephone number for where you can be reached. Why?  Cell phones are not always reliable, so a second number acts as your back up in case of an emergency.

Speaking of Phones.  Make it clear that the sitter should not be making or receiving phone calls or texting.  You are paying the sitter to provide childcare and supervision, so chatting with friends isn’t appropriate.  Unless you know and approve it, your sitter should not be doing homework, listening to an iPod or using your computer.

Other No-Nos.  It may sound outrageous, but make sure the sitter knows that smoking or drinking alcohol or using drugs is unacceptable when your children are in his or her care.  And, the sitter’s friends are not allowed in your home.

Provide a Checklist.  Ahead of time, write out a list of important contact information, such as your name, address, telephone numbers, emergency contact person (neighbor or relative) and medical information about your child, such as allergies.

What’s to Eat?  Your sitter should be capable of making a simple meal for your child, but the emphasis is on simple.  Most parents make up a meal ahead of time so that all the sitter has to do is pull it out of the refrigerator.  If he or she is using the microwave, make sure that you give a crash course.  Be sure to provide some food alternatives to the sitter as well – a teenager may not want to continue sitting for a family that doesn’t have a well-stocked pantry.

Like any person you are hiring for a job, you need to take a few minutes to evaluate the sitter.

Observe the Sitter.  Before you even depart, make a point of seeing how the sitter is interacting with your children.  Is the sitter friendly?  Is he or she interacting with your kids?  Do they seem engaged? 

Check In.  If you are going to be gone for more than four hours, you probably need to check in with the sitter.  However, if you think that your call may upset your kids or make it difficult for them to sleep, then make it clear that you would like the sitter to call you with an update at a designated time. 

Get Feedback From the Sitter.  Communication is a two-way street, so ask the sitter to be honest with you.  If there are any issues, it is better to resolve them quickly. 

Get Feedback From Your Kids.  If your kids are old enough, ask them what they thought of the sitter.  Use your best judgment...if something seems wrong, then follow your instinct and use another sitter in the future.

Observe Your Home.  Did the sitter leave your home tidy?  If someone does not respect your home, then that may be an indication of how well your children are being treated.  Your sitter is not required to do any housework, but nor should you come home to a home that is a mess.  Bottom line: Toys should be picked up, clothes need to be in the hamper and dishes in the dishwasher.